I consider myself to generally be quite a happy person. However, when my face is relaxed and not stretched into a grin it seems that my face shows me to be an unhappy person in a foul mood. I know I am not alone in this phenomenon for it is a recognised issue, with a name and definition of it in the Urban dictionary (probably one of the most useful dictionaries to exist). The term for this is bitch face. I sympathise with anyone who suffers from bitch face as it means facing one of the most annoying questions a person can ask someone who has a bitch face; “what’s wrong?”.
The question “what’s wrong” leaves someone with a bitch face in a Catch-22 situation where the only way out it to accept that there actually is something wrong, and you have a recognised excuse for having your current expression. The major problem with this question is that the person asking it will never be satisfied. There are a few ways in which you can respond to this question, none of which will get you out of the situation.
- “Nothing”. Replying with as much emotion as your face displays will only make you seem grumpier. A short, one worded response like this will make overly sensitive people think there must be something majorly wrong to invoke such a blunt response, leading them to repeat the question.
- “Nothing!”. An exclamatory response is never the way to go. It will only make the questioner believe that you are snappy, and this is not because they’ve asked you what’s wrong three times in as many minutes but because you must be hiding a deep, inner worry that you can’t bear to tell them.
- “Nothing, I’m fine”. Still also problematic. It is now widely accepted that fine almost never means fine, so this too, won’t work.
It seems that the only response left is for you to make up that something is wrong, but something that you don’t want to talk about. From past experience it seems that people who ask “what’s wrong?” will only be satisfied if they think that they have been right in their psychoanalysis of you. So, the only option for people who have a bitch face is to lie. This way, we can get on with our lives in peace.
However, this reaction to a bitch face is not just restricted to people you know. Many times strangers have walked by, thinking they are the next big comedian when they see my bitch face and say “cheer up! It might never happen!”. Strangely enough it just so happens that I’ve heard this one before, and there has not been one case where it has not done the opposite. Rather than cheering me up (although there was nothing wrong in the first place) I spend the next few hours thinking about the ignorance of the individual that said it. This has also happened at work, where a customer went as far to say that I wasn’t dressed colourfully enough. To these people the response should be the same, a lie. However, to stop them saying it again it should be something along the lines of “yes, sorry, I have just come back for a funeral. Apologies that my face doesn’t brighten up your day.” That should stop any further questions. Crazy that for my day to continue happily with no questions about my face, I have to say someone has died.
For more on Bitch Face look at the Urban dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bitch+face
I think having a bitch face can run in the family, this is actually us having a great time at Christmas.
Everything is Great, Thanks 